Two weeks ago I accepted a full time position with my current company at NAVTEQ. Right now I am editing part time at our traffic center and I am a fill-in producer at KCBS. Lately I've been working 43, 41 hours a week almost, more than my full time co-workers. It's nuts.
The position I accepted is a driving gig. I basically would drive in a company vehicle 7-8 hours a day with a satellite on top of that takes pictures of the roadways. I joke with my other co-worker Sandy, who also will be doing the same thing I am, that I can't wait to go to Watts and drive the back roads, find me a straight shooter, lol. For those of you that don't know what Watts is, compare it to a bad part of town in North Mpls.
The training is the first full week in April in San Francisco. I'm not even looking at it as training, I'm looking at it as a mini vacay. I haven't been to San Fran since my choir trip back in high school. The company is flying me up there then we have to drive the car back down. I am taking the coastal route back down, I wish I could have someone as a passenger with me, the coast is so gorgeous! :)
It's weird how I was so stressed out, esp. in January and February, about finding a full time job, then I get one and now I feel...neutral. It's not my dream job but I do like the fact that I will be traveling and driving. There are only two things that calm me down, driving and writing, I enjoy them. I remember if it was warm back home and I was in a stressed out mood I'd look at my dad and ask for the keys to the vette, just so I could take it on the freeway and speed a bit. Driving takes away all the stress and I feel so free when I'm doing it...don't know why. It's the only time I feel like I am in control, like you don't want to mess with me, lol. If I am the passenger I feel out of control and will probably pop a ton of gum in my mouth just to calm myself down, lol.
It's weird how when I accepted the full time job how I miss the Midwest so much. I think I started realizing it when I reconnected with my friend Brea a week ago after 2 years of not talking. She said to me, Do you know how lucky you are to just up and leave for a new place?! So many people never do that and you did it! It made me feel good but also made me feel numb. I think what I'm realizing is I can stay in California in my early 30s, but once I get into my mid/late 30s, I wanna go back home, either back to Mpls or to Chicago and get settled with a family, again I don't know why it took me moving to California to realize this-- that should be the title for my memoir now, lol. Maybe it's age? I want my future kids to see the change of seasons and jump in the leaves and have snowball fights and have hot cocoa by the fireplace and that kind of stuff. And they are going to have a treehouse in the backyard damnit, girl growing up down the street from me had a treehouse and I always wanted one. So the treehouse is a must.
So yeah, I am at such a crossroads...back in January I told a couple people that if I couldn't find a full time job I was probably going to have to end up moving back home and that I was probably going to be angry for awhile. Now here I am, I get the full time job, and I miss the Midwest. Just when I thought I had it all figured out, I'm half clueless..goddamnit you guys, there is never going to be a happy medium with me! LOL. I feel like a need a sign from someone or somebody, tried turning to God but I don't think he knows either, lol. One thing I will say about California is I am a hell of a lot calmer with my moods than I used to be, but the patience thing is inching...
